The recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles news around their new toys, films, and possibly games got me thinking of an age old drunken pub argument between me and some friends, done at a time when we should have really focused on impressing girls rather than our video game knowledge. Which show has the better set of video games; The Simpsons or The Turtles?

It might seem an odd question, but let me take you back to the argument. It’s a wet rainy November night in a small pleasant pub in a charming London borough known as Lewisham. If you’re thinking of a Shire-style Ye Old London village, then maybe you should do a Google image search for “Lewisham”. [link here for the lazy - Ed. Note]

Me and some good friends began discussing the terrible recent TMNT film and subsequently the not-as-bad but still disappointing The Simpsons Movie. A foolish former friend of mine, between his sixth and seventh pint, mentioned that at least The Simpson’s video-games always beat the TMNT games.

At this point I spat my manly dark ale out into the smoky air at the audaciousness of the statement. Firstly that he used the term Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and not the UK version of the title; Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. (apparently in the UK the word “Ninja” is too violent for our poor children. I’m just proud someone over here is thinking of the children).

...and don't you forget it!

I told my friend ‘What about the Turtles Arcade!?’ to which he countered with the Simpsons Arcade. I tell him ‘What about the Super Nintendo Turtles in Time game. One of the greatest side-scrolling beat-em-ups ever made!’. He replies with Bart vs. the Space Mutants.

The argument pathetically went on like this for a while. I say a game and my friend counters with another game all the while the bartender considers burning down his family heritage pub to claim the insurance as clearly the clientèle has reached an all time low. By the end of the argument we were more just sitting naming as many Simpsons or Turtles games as we could. The surprising thing? There have been a ton load of both.

In fact, its harder to find any other TV series that has had such a long-run of video games. To this day, more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Simpsons games are still in development. Over twenty years of gaming heritage on both sides of the fence. But who takes the crown? Well, let’s take a look at the teams:

That's a spicey meatball!

The Simpsons TV show can now be placed on a pedestal higher than any other TV show. It is a cultural phenomenon. Sadly, I think its been dragging its heels for about nine seasons, but I still wouldn’t want to see it end. In the world of video games, though, it’s been a real hit and miss affair. For every good game there is a bad one. For every Simpsons Arcade Game there is a Virtual Bart.

The bad thing about The Simpson’s games is that when they do a bad game, they really do a bad game. Virtual Springfield was a game that filled my giddy desires as a teenager. It was plugged as Grand Theft Auto 3 but in Springfield. Sadly what I got was a power-point style Myst game. The Simpsons Cartoon Studio also didn’t fare too well when my dreams of making my own Simpsons cartoons ended up looking like cheap Russian adverts for a horror film.

But among the fodder are some timeless classics. The Simpsons Arcade game takes the highest pedestal with Krusty’s Fun House following behind. Also recently the Simpsons have turned over a new leaf with the most recent  games (The Simpsons Game, Hit and Run, and Road Rage) actually being fairly decent games.

So on the flip-shell (eh! Geddit) we have the Turtles Games:

Donatelleo does machines?! That's disgusting

A few less than The Simpsons, but still a power house of games and more green than a Bob Marley poem recital. Sneaking in the pack are some genuine classics. Turtles in Time, Turtles the Arcade Game, and Turtles Hyper Stone Heist are hugely loved games. The Turtles also claim fame to one of the hardest and most frustrating games ever made, the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on the NES whose box-art shows Raphael four times for no reason.

If you have been here, then you'll know the pain.

The Turtles bigger weaknesses come from that they rarely deviate from the side-scrolling beat-em-ups. The only venture from the formula has been intro the foray of 3D for the later current generation games and the beat-em-up Turtles Tournament Fighter which bizarrely allowed the Turtles to beat the crap out of Splinter (at last!).

The Verdict

It’s going to be controversial, but I’m going to have to give it to The Simpsons. 

King Homer

The reason is that The Simpsons’ games have ventured further from their comfort zones. The Simpsons have tried wrestling, bowling, beat-em-ups, skateboarding, and even open sandbox. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have remained in their side-scrolling early days for many years. As such the later games in the Turtles series have been very placeholder affairs. Maybe The Simpson’s brand is just more suited for further game genres but I feel The Turtles could need to step-up their game. Literally.

Don’t get me wrong. On average, the Turtles games are always good to great. Whereas The Simpsons have a number of real stinkers in their pack of games, but at least they are trying new things.

The fight isn’t over though as both brands are still fighting strong. Just last week rumours circulated that Rocksteady are working on a Turtles game, and now this week the news out of nowhere that The Simpsons Arcade Game is being released for current gen consoles with glorious four player on-line co-op. So who knows where this fight will go in the next ten years.