To describe Grant Morrison as my favorite comic book writer might actually be an understatement. He’s probably my favorite person in the universe that I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting.
Every day he entertains me in some capacity, whether I’m reading his comics, exploring his thoughts on magic, or watching him perform a song given to him by the spirit of John Lennon. Were he not happily spoken for, I would seriously consider taking his hand in marriage.
Morrison’s a polarizing figure, but he’s made a huge impact on comics, and said plenty of insightful and hilarious things along the way. Here are ten of the best Grant Morrison quotes of all time:
1.
That is a pretty sweet typewriter.
I see no reason why children as young as six, seven, or even three shouldn’t be allowed to produce corporate comic books to relentless monthly deadlines. And have to write several titles at once to make a decent living. That’s what a proper childhood’s all about isn’t it? This is the 21st century after all and these unruly little bastards have been milking post-Victorian sentimentality for all it’s worth for way too long. Time to get kids back where they belong – up chimneys, down mines, and tied to the printing presses! If you can pick up a brick to smash a car window, then you can build me a textile factory, son … here’s a whole half dollar for your day’s labor. Now put down that Justin Timberlake bio-comic and get back on the production line!
2.
I wish I knew the secret to looking that cool in sunglasses.
Patience, participation and constant close observation of what’s going on, on the inside and on the outside will soon make you a fine sorcerer, if that’s what you want to be.
3.
It's always a little weird to see Morrison with hair.
Adults…struggle desperately with fiction, demanding constantly that it conform to the rules of everyday life. Adults foolishly demand to know how Superman can possibly fly, or how Batman can possibly run a multibillion-dollar business empire during the day and fight crime at night, when the answer is obvious even to the smallest child: because it’s not real.
4.
I bet Morrison's not the only comic writer who keeps an Alan Moore costume on-hand. Just in case.
We’re so familiar with written language that we sometimes forget how outlandish a concept it must have seemed to our ancestors. Writing allowed people to copy and transfer their thoughts and their tribal codes of conduct to others, even unto generations they themselves would not live to personally instruct, affect or control. The words themselves must have seemed alive and immortal and as “holy” as ghosts. Written law was thus a way of mastering time and influencing the future, a weapon greater than fire and steel, I hope you’ll agree. When read, the written word made the head buzz and ring and fill up with voices and commands from nowhere, as if God Himself had come thundering down through the symbols, off the page and into the room, fertilising and impregnating the mind with his Ghostly, unmistakable presence.
5.
What every author photo should be.
I’m sorry, what was the question again? I was communicating with a shiny fifth-dimensional construct.
6.
Just another day in the life of Grant Morrison.
Hell is only the Cringe Eternal and the Place of our Self’s Undoing. When Nietzsche proclaimed “God is Dead!” he forgot to add that Satan is also dead and we are free from all that antique tat.
7.
I would pay good money to attend this panel.
Because it all derived from Superman. I mean, I love all the characters, but Superman is just this perfect human pop-culture distillation of a really basic idea. He’s a good guy. He loves us. He will not stop in defending us. How beautiful is that? He’s like a sci-fi Jesus. He’ll never let you down. And only in fiction can that guy actually exist, because real guys will always let you down one way or another. We actually made up an idea that beautiful. That’s just cool to me. We made a little paper universe where all of the above is true.
8.
I could never pull this off. My cats always try to sit on my comics.
The “real-world” is a pretty weird place where lots of inexplicable things happen all the time, and I like to catch the flavor of that too. It just seems more modern and authentic to me as a storyteller. The “real world” doesn’t come with the neat three-act structures and resolutions we love to impose on it, and if repeated doses of movie and TV-storytelling have convinced anyone that it does, it‘s time to get out and about a bit. The real world is filled with ghost stories, non sequiturs, inexplicable mysteries, dead ends and absurdities, and I think it’s cool to season our comfortable fictions with at least a little taste of what actual reality is like.
9.
Why do nature backgrounds instantly make a picture look more inspirational?
Let’s make living breathing, sprawling adventures filled with mind-blowing images of things unseen on Earth. Let’s make artifacts that are not faux-games or movies but something other, something so rare and strange it might as well be a window into another universe because that’s what it is.
10.
Take his hand, and you'll soon see all the wonders the universe has to offer.
And then, I’ll be rogering the DC Universe something fierce, and it’ll say, “Oooo, Grant, no comic book writer has ever made me feel this way,” and I’ll say, “It’s because I’m also a reasonably competent artist, and also I have a tongue stud,” and the DC Universe will start bucking involuntarily against me, and moaning, “Brave and The Bold me, Grant, Brave and the Bold me.” And then I’ll reach into my bedstand and pullout the Talking Hulk Hands…