These two need to get into some kind of bar room brawl. A fist fight like that would be epic.

I loved how Neeson seemed to not give a damn while Stewart was very concerned with now his little guy performed. It was not really a fair fight though. Pitting a robot bank from 2000 against a crummy deluxe gimmick figure form the mid 90s. Pitting the early 80s Wars with the late 80s Trek would have been a more even match.

Kenner Han, Galoob Picard, Kenner Anakin

Or for the current ones a Hasbro Qui-Gon and a Diamond Select Picard.

Hasbro Qui-Gon Jinn

Diamond Select Jean-Luc Picard

If that wasn’t bad enough, depriving Being Human fans of two main characters and some serious man candy, Sinead Keenan is leaving the show off-screen, as well. Of the three main characters, only Lenora Chrichlow (Annie) is going to be left for a hypothetical fifth series, along with Turner and Tovey’s replacements who I’m not going to mention. I may or may not still be in denial over losing the man candy.

Pictured: man candy.

My rhetorical question is this: Could this series still work with most of the principal cast gone?

My answer to that rhetorical question: Probably not.

(What? I’m allowed to answer my own rhetorical questions.)

Probably not, because the first thing it brings to mind is all those other times a franchise has progressed when the “heart” of the thing has gone. Just to stay in TV-land, I’m thinking of shows like Scrubs, whose ninth series tanked midseason after the departure of Zach Braff, or The Office (the U.S. version), which improbably shambles along even after Steve Carell left after seven seasons. Or perhaps I’m still bitter about the way Red Dwarf tried to continue without an Arnold Rimmer (Chris Barrie) and then, later, without a Rob Grant, letting the Most Hilarious Sitcom Ever Made [citation needed] to rot in its later seasons. Or what about when Eoin Colfer wrote a sixth Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy book, and it was, by all accounts, kind of awful (or at least not as good as the standard set by Douglas Adams)?

The continuation of a dead series – reanimating it into a “zombie franchise” – has less to do with the need to continue the story than it has to do with the need for familiarity and the human urge to shovel more of a good thing down our throats. Why flog the undead horse, then? Simply put, it’s because the BBC knows it has an audience for it, and that audience is going to watch the fourth series despite the sudden lack of man candy. I mean, awesome characters. It’s like being addicted to crack; there’s more of it here, why not keep smoking crack?

This is a bad analogy. Even if you leave aside the fact I’ve never been cool enough to be offered crack cocaine (and it might be obvious that I have no idea whether you smoke it, or inject it, or what), watching a TV show about vampires and werewolves who share a flat isn’t going to adversely affect your well-being. I can’t comment on that; the reviews aren’t even in yet. That would be unfair.

Should we care whether it’s going to continue beyond the departure of a couple of cast members? Well, yes: Being Human has been a consistently great show for three series now, and I mean, look at the premise. It’s about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who share a flat in Bristol. But, improbably, it worked, because of the character interaction and the life these characters managed to breathe into them, and yes, that was very much intentional. If you’ve spent three series with Being Human, you’ve spent time with the characters. I have to assume their departure means they’ve reached the end of their natural arcs, and to keep going beyond that would be too much to ask of the audience. Buffy managed it with its sixth and seventh seasons, but only just.

Saying that, am I still going to tune in? Yes. Because I want to know what happens next. I’m aware of the cognitive dissonance.

Already the title of the episode, Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, should give us an indication about what the episode will cover. “Fruit of the poisonous tree” is a legal metaphor in the United States used to describe evidence that is obtained illegally. The logic of the terminology is that if the source of the evidence (the “tree”) is tainted, then anything gained from it (the “fruit”) is as well.

In Fairytale, we’re given a story about a king (Richard Schiff) who finds a magic lamp, which he rubs and is offered three wishes. Having everything in the world, his first wish is to free the genie. His second wish is to give the genie his third wish. Since we already know that the genie is the same person as the man in the mirror, we can only assume that this third wish is somehow related to that fact, right? Right.

Lana Parilla as Regina

Anyway, we return with King Leopold and the genie and learn some more about the family relationship. He’s the father of Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin), whose mother is dead. He is, however, remarried to Regina (Lana Parrilla), who seems to be slightly less than happy with the entire ordeal. Time passes and we learn that Regina wants to die because of how miserable her lot in life is. Still, she’s convinced by the genie, who has fallen in love with her, that it is possible to kill the king instead, which would set her free. She agrees that this is a much better idea, so he does so, only to realize that she’s been using him all this time (Quelle surprise, non?) and that this was her plan all along. Angry with her, but still in love, he realizes that she’s already called the guards on him, so he uses his third and last wish to be close to her forever and always be with her. At that, he disappears into thin air, only to be found behind the face of a mirror, not as happy with his circumstances as he had hoped.

In Storybrooke, we meet up with Henry (Jared Gilmore) and Emma (Jennifer Morrison), who visit the site of the jungle gym they often use as a meeting place. It’s been damaged by the storm we saw in the previous episode, which isn’t too good, since it’s where Henry hides The Book nowadays. He recovers the book from the sand and all is fine with the world again.

The episode itself centers on Sidney Glass, who we now learn has been removed from his position as journalist by the mayor (Wait a second; she can do that?) and looking for vengeance. I didn’t buy his motivations for a second, but apparently, Emma is more trusting than I am and the two go sleuthing. One of the things they find (apart from a weird set of $50,000 have been embezzled from the city. Apparently, Regina wants to build a house in the forest!

Now, where might these key lead?

Over at a strangely well-populated Town Hall meeting, Emma stands up and tells the whole town that their mayor has been embezzling funds, at which point Regina simply smiles and shows them a Powerpoint presentation of a children’s playhouse that she’s been planning to put up now that the old one was destroyed by the storm.

Now, I’m no expert in mayoral politics, but surely $50,000 has to be accounted for and not just used by the mayor at her own discretion like this?. She buys land – in her own name! – to set up a playground more or less only for her son, but the other kids can use it too.. The wind in Emma’s sails deflate as the town sides with the mayor, but she’s determined that something is still wrong – the mayor is still up to something.

To nobody’s great surprise, it turns out Sidney was on the Mayor’s side all along, just stringing Emma along for the public embarrassment.

In the meanwhile, Mary Margaret and David (Josh Dallas) carry on their illicit affair in the background and The Stranger (Eion Bailey) steals Henry’s book. I’m sure that’s all going to be very important later on.

Stuff I want to know:

Tainted Love

• Really, Mary Margaret? You’re fine with being “the other woman”? Isn’t David going to be leaving his wife and making the entire situation being a little less dirty?
• Where do all those skeleton keys go?
• What’s the deal with the stranger? Why is he there and what does he want?
• Why is Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) always offering to help Emma? What’s his endgame?

I’m not too energetic in the morning. I’ll just kinda sit there for a while and stare at the TV, so a half hour program is a perfect way to wake up and eat breakfast. I usually watch a DVD set I already own or just grab something from the library. This time I thought I’d take a look at what Youtube and Hulu have to offer.

What I’m going to do is go through both site’s “animated” categories and pick out a handful of promising shows to watch the first episode from.Then whatever two shows that grab me the most I’ll watch in their entirely.

• I’m going to try and keep it to series that are complete and that aren’t 100+ episodes long, but I may make exceptions.
• For this experiment I’m going to skip over the shows that I’ve seen completely or bits and pieces of. I will also avoid any show that’s part of a franchise that I’m already familiar with.
• Some of the series only have the dub, (English language voice cast) or sub (original Japanese dialogue with English subtitles) available. If a show has both available for the entire run then I’ll compare the two different voiceover tracks before continuing with the series.
• I’m only doing a light lookup of the series to avoid spoilers.

This should be a fun experiment. There are several older anime series that I have yet to see for one reason or another. And, with the recent Megaupload disaster, finding shows on file hosting and video streaming sites is becoming more and more difficult. I remember how frustrating it was trying to find Higurashi no naku koro ni in its entirety on YouTube. Having officially licensed channels, like FUNimation’s stream entire series is a hell of a lot more convenient than having the videos and download links deleted on you after you’re only half way done.

Now; let’s take a look at our candidates:

Yamanda’s First Time: B Gata H Kei

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 12
Series: Complete
Language Track: Subtitled

Based off a comic strip, it tells the story of a high school girl needing to get laid. For the most part whenever girls are being sexual in anime it’s meant to be for either the male characters or male viewers sake. This could be interesting to see an example of a girl lusting for what she wants.

Chobits

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 24
Series: Complete
Language Track: Dubbed and Subtitled.

Guy finds a thrown away robot girl. While I have heard of this before, the main reason for checking it out is the fact that a younger sibling of mine bought a Chobits doll from goodwill. This could be hilarious if Chobits turns out to have a lot of mature content.

House of Five Leaves

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 13
Series: Complete
Language Track: Subtitled

The Mike Mignola-looking art style is enough of a reason for watching the pilot.

Slayers

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 26
Series: Complete
Language Track: Dubbed and Subtitled

I never got this in my area when it first aired. It was recommended by a guy working the DVD section of Barnes and Noble. He made it sound like a fun fantasy adventure comedy.

Murder Princess

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 6
Series: Complete
Language Track: Dubbed and Subtitled

With a name like that and with it being that short, why not give it a try?

Sgt. Frog

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: Over 300
Series: Ongoing
Language Track: More Dubbed then Subtitled

I had heard that this was rather hilarious and will try it even though it’s over 300 episodes long and not every one is available.

Canaan

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 13
Series: Complete
Language Track: Doesn’t say

A near future story of  Assassins, terrorists, and junk.

Dokkoida?!

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 12
Series: Complete
Language Track: Doesn’t say

Picked it just on the potential wackiness it could have.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 27
Series: Complete
Language Track: Doesn’t say

Gainax’s giant robot anime from 2007. I think Sci-fi Channel aired it for a while. But I never got to it seeing as how it was like 1 episode every other week when the Daily Show was on. I know drills are involved and there’s a brother dynamic.

Spice and Wolf

(Hulu Link)

Episodes: 25
Series: Complete
Language Track: Dubbed and subtitled

A merchant finds a half wolf pagan goddess in his cart and travels around with her. he’s probably a spice merchant seeing as how she’s most likely the wolf part of the title.

In a week or so I’ll report back with reviews of the 1st episodes for these series.

The series, which has been described as a “high octane action drama”, follows “a group of characters struggling to survive and reunite with loved ones in a world where all forms of energy have mysteriously ceased to exist”. I’m not entirely sure what it means that energy has ceased to exist, but I’m guessing that we’re talking about a world that doesn’t contain electric energy in any way, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

I wonder if this means anything for the future of Alcatraz, Fringe or Person of Interest, all of which are ongoing series with J.J. as Executive producer.

Playmates Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I have to say I’m quite alright with these new character designs. They have a bit of the original Mirage Studios comic design to them but add the individual characteristics that the more recent turtle series have.

Playmates Leonardo

Take note of the weird little 3rd toe they now have.

Playmates Raphael

Raph’s got a chunk of shell chipped off.

Playmates Donatello

Playmates Michelangelo

What’s real interesting about Mikey here is that not only does he have a nunchaku with an actual chain link but he also has a Kusarigama. Weather this will be one of his main weapons in the show or just an extra accessory thrown in is uncertain.

Playmates Deluxe Mike

Deluxe electronic Mikey. I kinda wish that head was the one on the regular edition figure. The deluxe toys have real eyes with the basic ones have white super hero mask ones. What will the show use?

Deluxe Don

These Deluxe guys have some really funny faces. I kinda wish TMNT figures would come with alternate heads and faces like Japanese anime toys do.

The Turtle Van

New Turtle Van/Party Wagon. How do you drive it if everything’s an attack hatch?

Foot Clan Dragon Bike

It’s always hard to tell what’s going to be in the actual show solely going by the toys. Probably well over half the original TMNT toy line was just bizarre stuff made to sell more toys. Or they were form one of the comic series or video games.

TMNT Sewer Lair Playset

It’s glorious! I didn’t even think companies would even bother releasing something this size that wasn’t a Star Wars vehicle. They even put in the periscope from the original turtle lair. Depending on what size these guys turn out to be this would work great with any urban super hero figures and dolls.

April down there at the computer looks kinda young but that might be just the huge boots. Also if you look closely up on the top of the fire escape you can see Krang in an utrom robot body.

Again, I’m struck by the sense of not really understanding the point of the episode. In what’s beginning to be routine, the episode is 95% procedural cop drama with 5% sci-fi:esque plot reveal at the very end, grabbing our attention and and encouraging us to watch more. In this case, it had to do with a key that seems to be one of a pair that opens a mystical door in the bowels of Alcatraz island.

You know; I’m not at all impressed by this series. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s cancelled if it keeps this up. Kirk (Sarah Jones) and Spock (Sam Neill) are entirely unlikable characters, with the latter being such a stereotype that I roll my eyes every time he does his thing. I still like Bones McCoy (Jorge Garcia), however, his character has a whole lot of personality and room to grow, and I can’t but help wonder what he’s going to grow into.

Still, despite the overly procedural tone, I can’t but help feel that there’s something about the mythology of the show that’s coming together now. We’re bound to look back on this show in a few week’s time and go “Aaaah, so that’s what was in the secret room below the island”, giggling slightly to ourselves over how Lost that sounds.

I’ve got such high hopes for this series, but I’m just not feeling it. Not yet. Unless they do more mythology and mystery, less Captain Kirk, I’m not sure I’m ever going to be feeling it. I’ve seen that most reviewers and commenters have similar thoughts on the matter, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we were to see a slight shift in the months to come.

Stephen Amell

The network has just announced the casting of Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen, the billionaire playboy that fights crime with his bow and arrow. The character, for those who’ve never read a single issue of the comic, should still feel like a familiar one, as he has a number of parallels with other superhero origin stories, but with a unique twist on it. The “Billionaire playboy turned crime-fighter” reminds us of Batman and Iron Man – and the character has been criticized for this – but there are a number of not so subtle differences.

The story, as told by the coming television series, will focus on Oliver Queen, a man that spent five years shipwrecked on an island on the coast of the South China Sea. He’s presented as a 27-year old “reformed bad boy” that returns from the shipwreck a “different man. Or to be more specific, a tortured, thoughtful master of the bow with a ferocious determination to make a difference”.

While they may have found their lead actor, they still have some way to go before the cast is complete. The series is still hunting for actors to play Black Canary and Merlyn, two female roles that are quite important for the overall story. I’m very curious to see how this pans out, but I’m not too optimistic. It wouldn’t be the first time that CW fails in bringing a comic to life as a television series.

Pop Culture Heroes

The original artist is named Anna Rettberg from Syracuse, NY. If you like her, send her your appreciation on Twitter or Facebook! Here’s a list of everybody in the picture, thanks to reddit user JafffaCake:

• Blue guy upper left: Tobias Funke from Arrested Development
• Girl to the right of him: River Tam from Firefly
• Girl with glasses in front of them: Liz Lemon from 30 Rock
• Doctor in scrubs on the sofa: JD from Scrubs
• Man with cane in had next do the scrub doctor: House from House M.D.
• Red dressed woman left of House: 6 from Battlestar Galactica
• Man who has red dressed woman on his lap: Dwight Schrute from The Office
• Man bleeding next to the yellow lab in front of the TV: Jack and Vincent from Lost
• Dog on the leash: Eddie from Frasier
• Black cat: Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch
• Girl in pink clothes stabbing a vampire: Buffy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
• Man with Green Lantern T-shirt: Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory
• Man in blue shirt and pointy ears: Spock from Star Trek
• Man on the bottom sofa with notebook on lap: Jeff from Community
• Cheerleader: Claire from Heroes or Quinn from Glee
• Blonde man next to the cheerleader: Barney from How I Met Your Mother
• Man in suit and crossed legs next to Barney: Don Draper from Mad Men
• Man in White work shirt and pens in pocket: Chuck from Chuck
• Pink haired woman: Syndey from Alias
• Man with white shirt and covered in blood (er… wine): Dexter Morgan from Dexter
• Man in scarf and black trench coat: Sherlock from BBC’s Sherlock
• Man in yellow hazmat suit: Walter White from Breaking Bad
• Man in fez behind hazmat suited man: The Doctor from Doctor Who
• Cop in cowboy hat: Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead
• Vampire getting stabbed: Bill from True Blood

Also outside the window, we’ve got a TARDIS from Doctor Who, the Enterprise from Star Trek, the Galactica from Battlestar Galactica and Serenity from Firefly.

At the core of the story this week, we have a young girl named Emily (Alexis Raich), whose uncanny ability to see violent death shortly before it happens comes to the attention of the Fringe team. To make a long story short, the episode is about using one of the girl’s visions to solve a major crime that is about to happen which – quelle surprise - they pull off well. Guest stars Alexis Raich and Currie Graham, who plays her father (and who I thought was great on The Mentalist) both made excellent portrayals of a deeply conflicted child and a protective, albeit paranoid, father thrust into an unwinnable situation.

Even though the story itself is bitter sweet and filled with action, suspense and drama, I’m more drawn to what’s happening outside of the main story; in the fringes of the main story, if you’ll excuse the horrible pun which I’ll probably have to suffer an extra month in purgatory for when the reckoning comes.

Fringe, Forced Perspective

The two things I’d like to talk about are The Observers and Nina Sharp (Blair Brown).

The Observers

It’s obvious how different the universes are when something that feels pretty much every-day stuff to Peter (Joshua Jackson) is revolutionary and weird to this universe’s Olivia (Anna Torv). The Observers, who Peter has met before, weigh heavily on Olivia’s mind since she was told that all possible futures involve her dying (more on this). She doesn’t tell Peter this, but he tells her that they can’t be wrong about the future.

I’d like to dwell on that statement for a while. Haven’t they been wrong in the past? I mean; aren’t they here not just to observe the passing of time but to – if the situation calls for it – modify things slightly so that they play out differently? Isn’t Peter still being alive (where he came from, at least) a direct result of their intervention?

My guess is that (this) Olivia will die at the end of the season and that her death will somehow be an integral part in getting Peter home. This also raises another interesting question. The Observers in this universe, are they the same as the Observers in the other universe? We know they transcend time, but do they transcend universes?

Nina Sharp

We’ve had it rubbed in our faces more than once that Nina Sharp is up to no good. She’s injecting Olivia with something, cooperating with David Robert Jones (Jared Harris) in some capacity and just being generally creepy and weird. She’s up to something, but it’s extremely difficult to put a finger on what that something is. I’m guessing she wants Olivia because of her involvement in the Cortexiphan trials, but why escapes me right now.

Either way, Nina’s role in the entire plot of the season feels like one of the most interesting things to look forward to. I’m not optimistic that we’ll see an answer any time soon, but there is always hope.

One still unanswered question that bugs me more than it should … The Observer that visited Olivia – why was he bleeding from a chest wound?

I was a huge fan of the first season, to the point of considering it the best of television in 2011, and I can’t wait to see how they pull the second season off. There’s a whole bunch of story to be told, and much of it is going to be very difficult to convey on television. I’m especially looking forward to seeing all the new faces they’re introducing and the way the current characters get to grow, develop and – in some cases – die.

I think that’s a shame, because a good voice actor can make or break a character. They’re the reason that speech before the battle is so inspiring, that a touching moment leaves you fighting back manly tears, and that a line that shouldn’t be so hilarious has you laughing so hard. They’re a part of what makes cartoons, video games, and anything else that enlists the help of voice actors so great.

When I need to kill time, one of my favorite things to do is head over to IMDB and look up all the characters my favorite voice actors have played. Some are obvious in retrospect, but others are hard to believe no matter how many times you hear them, and change the way I see certain characters. Here are a few (mostly) beloved characters who happen to share a voice actor. Some may make perfect sense, but others may surprise you:

Darkwing Duck and Winnie the Pooh

Let's get....snuggly?

He is the terror that flaps in the night. He is the bear who will eat all your honey. He is Jim Cummings, who’s been voicing Pooh Bear since the 80′s and provided the voice for everyone’s favorite super-powered single father duck. Cummings has also voiced characters like Tigger, villains such as Shredder, Robotnik and Fat Cat, and has provided a variety of voices for video games like Mass Effect 2 and Skyrim. He’s one of the most prolific voice actors in the business, and he continues to take on new characters to this day.

Jim Cummings doesn’t just entertain people with his various characters – his voice can also be heard in Cheez-It commercials and on the weather channel.

Bender, Wakka, and Kimahri

If only he could've voiced Tidus too.

Everyone’s favorite bending robot is also not one, but two characters from Final Fantasy X. Actor John DiMaggio has been playing the chain smoking Bender since Futurama first began, and provided the voice for both a chatty blitzball player and a less talkative Ronso warrior. DiMaggio’s voice is often easy to spot – he also plays Jake on Adventure Time, the delightfully insulting Scotsman on Samurai Jack and frequently provides a voice for the Juggernaut. However, sometimes DiMaggio’s roles are a little more surprising. He also played the fictionalized version of Toph in one of my all-time favorite episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender and made Aquaman outrageously awesome on Batman: The Brave and the Bold

While DiMaggio primarily works as a voice actor, he can occasionally be seen on-screen. He’s appeared in films like Pirates of Silicon Valley and and on tv series such as Chicago Hope and Bones.

Pinky and Raphael

One is a turtle. The other's insane.

The cool, but rude component of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was also one half of the the greatest pair of laboratory mice the television world has ever seen. They’re both voiced by Rob Paulsen, who is one of those guys who somehow manages to appear in everything. Not only does Paulsen have a name that lends itself to Fight Club jokes – he has a voice that’s been lent to characters like Yakko Warner, Gladstone Gander, and Mighty Max.

Recently, Paulsen provided a voice for a revival of the turtles franchise, but he won’t be playing Raphael this time around. Instead, he’ll be voicing my favorite turtle – Donatello.

Optimus Prime and Eeyore

Voicing gloomy donkeys is the right of all sentient beings.

The hero that millions of adults born in the 70′s and 80′s would gladly follow into battle shares a voice with the donkey who was emo before it was cool. It’s hard for me to hear the autobot leader in Eeyore’s voice, but that makes the fact that they’re both played by Peter Cullen that much cooler. Cullen also voiced Ironhide, Knight Rider‘s KARR, and was the first person ever to provide a voice for Mario.

Cullen has played many characters, but has said many times that Optimus is his favorite, which is probably the reason he was willing to reprise the role for the Transformers live action films.

Rebel Wilson

Now, I’m not really sure what “nerdy girls” means in this context, but the quote from the Hollywood Reporter is:

The network has ordered a pilot for Super Fun Night, a multi-camera comedy that revolves around three nerdy female friends on their ”funcomfortable” quest to have “super fun” every Friday night.

I’m cautiously optimistic, because this has the potential to be something pretty damn funny, but I’m terrified that this show is just going to be a “The Big Bang Theory, but with girls!”, which isn’t really what we need right now … Also, what does “funcomfortable” even mean? Something that’s both fun and uncomfortable at the same time? Are these girls going out of their way to challenge their comfort zones?

I really hope this turns out to be great, but until we know more, let’s just err on the side of caution, shall we?

Meghan Ory as Red Riding Hood

In Fairytale, the story takes off shortly after the proposal between Prince Charming and the daughter of King Midas. Snow White just can’t stop thinking about him, and Red suggests she goes to talk to ‘a man who can achieve even the most unholy of requests. A man who can do what you ask’. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was talking about Rumpelstiltskin (Robert Carlyle).

The two meet, Robert Carlyle overacting just a tad, and he makes her a potion that will not only remove her love for him but will also make her forget all about him. His price is a little bit of her hair. We all wonder “What does he want with her hair”, knowing that the question will be answered very soon. Before drinking the potion, however, a dove comes flying with a message from Prince Charming asking her to come to him within the next two days and show her how much she loves him. Strings play in the background and tears form in her eyes.

Well; things don’t quite go as planned, and she’s captured by the king’s guards and thrown into prison, where she meets Grumpy (Lee Arenberg). He’s one of the dwarves (curiously tall, strangely enough), telling the story about how he was mistreated in the diamond mines and how he’s been mistreated because of love and now has no way out. Enter the mysterious eighth dwarf, Stealthy (Geoff Gustafson), who breaks them out of prison. How very Deus Ex Dwarfina.

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White

Anyway; guards find them, kill Stealthy (now they’re seven), almost kill Grumpy, until Snow White decides to burn the place down. I’m not really understanding her character, she’s very brave right here, but other times she’s just a timid little waif that doesn’t know what to think, feel or believe. Not very convincing. The guards catch her again, and King George has a chat with her, explaining how love is a disease that can be cured … either with a cure or with death. He wants her to break the prince’s heart – otherwise he’ll kill him (Yeah, I know, it doesn’t make sense to me either). She does so and walks away from the castle in tears, meeting up with the dwarves, who comfort her. It’s not enough, so she decides to drink the potion – but Grumpy stops her from doing so, explaining that the pain is what makes him – and her – who they are.

Prince Charming comes looking for Snow, finds Red Riding Hood and somehow doesn’t decide “You know; to hell with Snow White, I’m choosing you”, because instead he continues looking for her. Unfortunately, she’s already had the drink and no longer remembers him.

Meghan Ory as Red Riding Hood

The entire episode is is about being meant for one person and the various blocks and stumbling stones that can appear in your life to prevent you from being with that person. It’s also covered in layer upon layer of allegory. In Fairytale, Snow White and Prince Charming are trying to find each other. In Storybrooke, Mary Margaret and David Nolan are trying to find each other. In yet another layer, Mary Margaret finds a dove that seems to have lost its partner and has to find him/her or be lonely forever! Tacky; I know, but it serves a purpose in the end.

Mary Margaret takes the dove and goes out searching for the flock, not seeming to consider the fact that birds are creatures of the air and probably won’t be too easy to find with her car, no matter how much she drives around the various forest paths and explores cliffs … Cliffs that she falls off of and hangs from until David comes and rescues her. How very Deux Ex Davida.

The two of them find a cabin, express their love for each other, sigh dramatically, lean in towards each other and … Mary Margaret breaks off the kiss before it even happens. The rain stops, they release the bird, which finds its flock and then have another heart-to-heart. David explains how it feels like he has two conflicting lives; memories of his wife, but feelings for Mary Margaret. How annoying, right?

Mary Margaret and David run into each other again the morning after, he says “She’s not pregnant”, which is obviously the sexiest thing in the world, because they immediately begin sucking on each other’s faces. I think I’m going to tell my girlfriend that the next time we meet.

Elsewhere, Emma meets up with the stranger (Eion Bailey), asking him questions about things. He’s got answers to everything, and when it comes time to learn what’s in the box, he refuses to answer, explaining that the mystery will become even more tantalizing as she continues to guess what could possibly be inside the box. I’m beginning to feel like he’s describing Lost rather than the contents of a box. Anyway, he opens the box, revealing a typewriter. He’s a writer. I’m sure that’s going to be important later.

Snow White and the Dwarves

Here’s a couple of questions that I feel need answering after this episode:

• Who is the writer? Could he be some mysterious character from Fairytale? Maybe he’s the one who wrote Henry’s (Jared Gilmore) book?
• Why was the mayor (Lana Parrilla) so worried when the writer was talking to Henry?
• Why did Rumplestiltskin want Snow White’s hair?
• When will we get Red Riding Hood’s story?
• Why didn’t Mary Margaret and David have a flashback to Fairytale like the hunter did when he kissed Emma?

Another thing that deserves more attention is the character development of the three main characters on this show. I get it; Sam Neill is the hardass we’re supposed to dislike, Jorge Garcia is the chubby sidekick that we as viewers are supposed to identify with and Sarah Jones is the action girl detective with daddy issues (This is a J.J. Abrams show, after all) and just wants to solve things, showing us amazing new abilities along the way and willingly putting herself in harms way. It’s just that these are so predictable Power Trio stereotypes that I have to sigh in disappointment. Let’s just look at a paragraph from TvTropes.org:

The McCoy is part of a Freudian Trio along with The Kirk and The Spock. Where the former is rational and intuitive, and the latter is cold and logical, the McCoy is emotional and humanistic. He cares about others deeply; for him doing the right thing is not a question of convenience or moral relativity, but about the concrete reality right now. Which is to say, someone like The Kirk cares about saving people; the McCoy cares about making things right. This often leads the heroes into hot water as this concern for others blinds him to complications in the Moral Dilemma of the week and leads him to advocate (or take it upon himself to do) “the right thing”, regardless of how disastrous it would be in the short or long run. In Freudian psychology, this character represents the concept of the id.

Anybody else seeing it? Sarah plays the Kirk, Sam plays the Spock (all the way down to the Fascinating Eyebrow) and Jorge plays The McCoy.

Kit, the criminal of the week, was well played by Michael, but there was something that I didn’t understand about the episode. Why was he even there? The last two criminals have both had a sense of purpose in 2012, being moved from 1963 as part of a bigger plan. What was Kit’s role in that larger plan? Will we learn that the boy he was going to kill is going to grow up into John Connor and destroy the evil machinations of the bad guy(s?) of the series? Because if we don’t see something like that, this episode was completely pointless.

I’m disappointed, Alcatraz. After two relatively strong episodes, you bring us an episode that doesn’t add to the mythology, doesn’t convince us why the killer-of-the-week has to be a time traveler instead of just a random somebody, make the characters into even more two-dimensional parodies of themselves and then stop the episode with a reveal that probably won’t be touched for a couple of weeks.