Anna:

Has it been a week already? Am I stuck in some sort of time bubble, or am I just easily distraced? I pick both options. But regardless: I’ve finished Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, which was just wonderful, and I am quite intrigued as to how the film version turned out. Also started reading Bleeding Heart Square by Andrew Taylor earlier today, so I have nothing to say about it just yet.

In other news, I went to see advanced screenings of both The Cabin in the Woods and Dark Shadows, and loved one of them, but not the other (hint: my review might help determine which is which), and have been promised a free look at Moonrise Kingdom as soon as it is schematically possible, hooray!

Arkenor:

Struggling with Wurm virus nonsense, and investigating The Secret World.

Breki:

I was at the media screening for The Dictator, got aggressive in the union discussions at the office (and got all I demanded!), found suspicious bruises on both of my forearms that I can’t explain, and looked at the calendar every five minutes to see if it’s the fifteenth yet. The fire from the sky still falls. Diablo III has not yet launched.

Jamie:

I’ve been reading about Phoenix Jones and the rest of the “real life superhero” movement a lot this week, ostensibly as research.

Lewis:

Playing a bunch of comic book themed music. Finally got some new shoes which is good because the current ones I have really hurt my feet. Sorting and getting ready to back up a bunch of files. MP3 tag is great for sorting your music. I actually got a shinny new computer a few months ago yet all I’ve been playing on it are older games. I’m almost done with the orc campaign in Warcraft III. [Work, work -Ed. Note]

Mandi:

I read Divergent, which I thought was okay, Batman #9, which was spectacular, and a bunch of other comics that were varying degrees of awesome. I’ve been working on Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky, but am having so much fun talking to townspeople that I’m not making much progress.

Since Community was renewed, I’ve been re-watching my favorite episodes obsessively. 12 seasons and a theme park!

Tom:

Movies, movies, movies. 6 films in 5 days as I saw media screenings for Bel Ami, Dark Shadows, Safe, Margaret, Iron Sky and The Dictator.

Read Ready Player One by Ernest Cline over the week and enjoyed it thoroughly, anyone who hasn’t read it and might like it from its synopsis gogogo.

Also been an excited mess to play both Max Payne 3 and Diablo 3, goodbye university degree.

This week’s awesome pic is courtesy of Znuese.

The relationship between a person and their clone can be difficult, often straining. It is okay to feel a great burden pressing down on your shoulders (all four of them). This post will help both of you navigate some of the basic difficulties faced by clones and the cloned.

Remember: for better or worse, you are not alone. Not any more.

Suggested Uses For Your Clone and/or Clones

• You’ve probably already started this, but your clone can do all the things you don’t want to do. Put them to work around the house. Send them ahead of you to the front. Send them to have that lunch with your ex-boyfriend. This might actually be the reason you cloned yourself in the first place.
• Are you a sitcom character? Did you schedule two dates at the same time? No problem!
• If you have cloned yourself more than once, compartmentalise. Assign a single task to each clone, running on Unix principles. Each clone does one thing, and does it well. One of them can specialise in cookery, for example, while another takes on more of a butler role.
• Your clone (or clones) can provide a convincing alibi (or alibis) for your acts of superheroic derring-do or villainous schemes. Of course you aren’t the mysterious (and handsome) art thief — you couldn’t be! Look! Here’s some security footage from the big game, all the way across town!
• Unless you made an evil clone, in which case you probably can’t trust them. If you are unsure of your clone’s alignment, have them tested for a goatee immediately.
• Take things to the next level in the bedroom; with multiple clones, you can finally pull off the ‘Doctor Manhattan,’ if you know what I mean.
• (orgies)
• Quietly ponder the nature of existence, responsibility, parenthood, etc.
• Most importantly, you never, ever have to do any real work again. Where’s that presentation? Johnson-2 has it right here. Good work, Johnson-2. Here’s a promotion, and technically, that’s your achievement, Johnson-1. Take the afternoon off while Johnson-2 sets up your office – you earned it!

Keeping Your Clone Happy

• Keep your clones in one place. Not only will this help with administrative tasks such as locating your clone first thing in the morning, but it will instil a healthy sense of subservience in all your clones.
• Give them some pocket money, for God’s sake.
• Never, ever discuss whether or not your clone has a ‘soul’ or can truly be considered ‘human.’ This is an unproductive and circular topic of discussion.
• To avoid the “soul problem,” keep all spiritual, metaphysical and generically existentialist conversations to an absolute minimum.
• Let’s be clear, though: the “soul problem” will come up.
• Probably best to dispose of your clone as soon as they start asking about it.

What to Do when the Original/Clone Relationship Inevitably Fails

• Lock the doors. All the doors.
• Give yourself an identifying tattoo, scar or other marking so that when your loved ones are asked to choose which one of you to shoot, you can just show them the marking and be done with this whole tedious sequence.
• When asked about your clone, deny you ever had one.
• Including – no, especially – when asked by your clone.
• Give the clone some train fare and tell it to git, y’hear? You’re not wanted here, clone.
• Upon the clone’s return, go through the aforementioned tedious sequence.

As we’ve learned in the previous couple of weeks, actors like Guy Pearce, Jessica Chastain, Ben Kingsley and others are more or less locked in for the movie at this point, but there are still a number of plot elements that need to be addressed. How close to the original Extremis storyline can we expect this to be, for example? Will there be any hints of overlap with the greater Marvel cinemaverse, possibly leading up into the next major group-up of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, or is that best kept for later?

What we do know has come from a recent interview that Marvel President Kevin Feige had with Empire. In the interview, he says:

So Iron Man 3 has been structured specifically to be the antidote to The Avengers. Circumstances in the story separate Tony from having access to anything. We wanted to take Tony back to – metaphorically speaking – the cave from Iron Man, the first half of Iron Man, when he’s cut off from the world and needs just focus on his intellects to get himself out of his situation. So he’s not calling Thor, he’s not calling Captain America, he can’t press a special button to have the helicarrier come rescue him, so I think that’ll be a nice complement to the team up of Avengers.

It’s definitely an interesting idea, and I’m curious to see how they pull it off. Maybe the communication in his suit will be disabled or something on those lines, or he will be unable to use the suit – forced to be Tony Stark for a while. We’ll probably start seeing more details about the movie in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned for more!

Anna:

I’ve failed to watch any new movies lately, which frustrates me a lot: I spent two weeks in LA without catching a single frame, damnit! On the reading part, I’m re-reading one of my absolute favourite books. Again. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. Still amazing, as always.

However, I did find myself just outside The Avengers premiere in LA, but had no means of getting in to the screening. Sigh.

Breki:

This week, I have mainly been eating bricks.

Jokes aside; this week, I’ve been trying (in vain) to avoid Avengers spoilers, working on new CSICON projects, playing the Diablo 3 beta, being made redundant from my job, and vacuuming the apartment as my husky blows his winter coat.

Chad:

I had recently finished Kingdom Keepers Book V: Shell Game. While I found the execution flawed in several places the majority was a very entertaining read. Although I was flabbergasted by the abrupt cliffhanger ending.

This past Monday I attended the live special 3-hour WWE Monday Night Raw at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. Had a blast and kicked off the week of my 30th birthday by having the WWE roster sing Happy Birthday…to John Cena (Hey! It might’ve been for me!). I also found Brock Lesnar‘s mic skills likewise flawed in execution. [Today is Chad's actual birthday! Feel free to wish him a good one in the comments -Ed. Note]

Finally and perhaps the most geeky of all, I have recently finished my 25th 80-minute CD of music from animated sources. I call these The Chad’s Cartoon Compilations.

Jack:

I did two things this week I’ve never done before. I shot a man in both testicles from three hundred yards away with a sniper rifle in the Sniper Elite v2 demo and, secondly I rage-quitted over a hundred times whilst staring at a naked apple man with his penis hanging out as I beta-tested Apple Jack 2. I stupidly tried to calm myself by watching the latest episodes of Game of Thrones, aka tits and beards, which didn’t work as I realised that the last few episodes have been pretty dire. And so now I lean back in my chair, and try to forget my week that was mostly testicles, apples, and nipples.

Jamie:

I’ve just started reading the Artemis Fowl series, right after I finished Sloane Crosley‘s How Did You Get This Number?— between that and Lena Dunham‘s new series Girls, I needed a break from real life, so, Die Hard with fairies it is.

Mandi:

Kamen Riders Birth and Kuuga check out my new PSP.

This week, I acquired a PSP (pictured), so I finally got a chance to play a game I’ve been waiting to play for ages: Corpse Party. It’s a weird little survival horror game with mostly SNES level graphics.

It managed to exceed my expectations, and for the first time in ages, I stayed up the entire night working to finish the game. It still has a lot of endings I haven’t unlocked, but overall, I’m pretty satisfied, and I highly recommend checking it out.

I’ve also been reading and re-reading various Batbooks thanks to the Night of the Owls event. I’m not always big on crossovers, but it’s been handled really well so far. It’s a good time to be a Batfan.

This week’s goofy header image was courtesy of Lanbow2000!

Here’s a round-up:

Sh*t CSICON Says

“Always bet on owls.”
— Mandi answers the world’s toughest exam question.

“If Christopher Nolan doesn’t melt my face off with The Dark Knight Rises, I will feel underwhelmed.”
— Tom Fortune reviews The Avengers, goes on a bit of a tangent.

“Don’t tell anyone you’re a time traveller. You sound like an asshole.”
— In case you find yourself at the wheel of a time machine, we’ve got a handy guide for you.

“It just would have been nice to have a lady suit that’s sexy but still has real functionality to it.”
— Lewis has some problems with Catwoman’s new outfit

“The depressing thing is that this obvious marketing tool works.”
— Apparently there’s some coloured PS3s coming out.

“Read on past the Norse god only if you’re comfortable with that sort of stuff.”
— FUN FACT: Breki managed to ruin The Avengers for himself while researching this post.

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• What did it cost eight women writers to make it in New York? The Awl has some answers for you.
• Herman Wallace and Albert Woodfox “celebrate” forty years in solitary confinement.
• Alexis Madrigal wonders: what’s the next step for the web?

Short Story

If you are a lone crusader, then this deduction is not available to you—but if you have a sidekick, then consider making him or her your legal ward. (This is not quite as easily done as said, however. A ward, legally speaking, must be (1) a minor (2) without parents. Therefore, if you are looking to take this deduction in a future year, when you select your next sidekick choose someone very young and completely orphaned to maximize the benefit.)

Matthew David Brozik, Nine Tax Deductions of the Superhero set

Caption This Adorable White Supremacist Picture

D'awww.

10. Green Lantern #8

Sinestro and Compassion: Apparently not too compatible.

In a perfect world, there would have been an entire spread comprised of Sinestro reacting to the mention of various emotions.

9. Uncanny X-Men #10

Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!

Add Danger to your list of “people not to mess with”, folks.

8. New Avengers #24

Costumes are always a low blow.

In fairness, I can think of mutants less well equipped to run a school than Wolverine. Sadly, most of them are working for Wolverine.

7. Avengers Assemble #2

More people need to use the phrase "hulking one".

In the Marvel world, claiming to have seen the army is so normal that suspicion is cast upon your words. Claim to have seen giant bug monsters carrying miniature robots, and everyone will believe you.

6. Secret Avengers #25

It's easy to get the two confused.

While the banter here is very nice, I feel the need to point out that Gabriel Hardman‘s art is also pretty swell.

5. Adventure Time #3

Attention: Person who thought this up. Let's be best friends. <EM>FOREVER</EM>.

Sadly, those aren’t actually missiles, but relocated chub. It’s awesome anyway.

4. Demon Knights #8

Gentlemen, take note: Etrigan knows how to talk to the ladies.

DC, if you release an Etrigan dating mating advice book, I will do my best to buy a million copies.

3. Avenging Spider-Man #6

I love you, Matt Murdock. I mean Daredevil.

Oh, come on. In the comic world, that’s a pretty good plan. Especially when you live in the universe that doesn’t have a Batman.

2. Journey Into Mystery #636

The only thing hot enough to stand up to this is the white hot flames of nerd rage.

When I encounter Journey Into Mystery, I’m usually left smiling. This panel is no exception.

1. Batman and Robin #8

Protest all you want, Alfred. We all know you're loving this.

The moments we see of Bruce actually being a normal guy are pretty rare, and that makes them special. The times he gets to be a normal dad are even rarer, and that makes this the panel of the week. Batdad isn’t always the best dad, but he has his moments.

Many Instagram users made empty promises to leave the service, but ultimately decided all their pictures were on there and they were probably okay as long as they changed their privacy settings.

Sh*t CSICON Says

“The man is a real life hobbit.”
— Lewis Christenson, on Peter Jackson.

“Mark Ruffalo is no huge green rage-monster.”
— some years after graduation, Breki finally puts his degree in Ruffalology to good use.

“‘Not my finest hour,’ sighs Jimbo. ‘Not my finest hour. And speaking of finest hours, do you remember the time Steve tried to steal the clock from Mr. Sampson’s classroom?’”
— Mandi took over the troping duties this week, because I’m an idiot who can’t read my calendar, and she looked at the ‘clip show,’ which brought back a lot of memories for her.

“A film like American Reunion is a terrible film to try and review.”
— but Tom Fortune did it anyway, the crazy son of a bitch.

“Let’s all agree not to try, okay? Okay.”
— The Cabin in the Woods gets reviewed.

“In one episode of Angel, Angel became a muppet for the entire episode. I don’t think I need anything more than that.”
— Jack Marshall investigates the great shark-jumping moments of nerd culture, and is totally wrong about Smile Time.

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• Over at The Atlantic, Stephen Marche investigates: is social media making us lonelier than ever?
• In light of the This American Life/Mike Daisey controversy, Nate Kornell in Psychology Today explains how we create false memories by simply telling stories.
• If you don’t know about the Mike Daisey thing yet, take an hour out of your day to listen to the “Retraction” episode of This American Life. It’s fascinating, illuminating and just a little bit heartbreaking.
• A man has been jailed for using the C-word at Bexley Council (England) over Twitter – referred to, hilariously, as the “Twitter C–t Case.” “What does this mean for free speech?

Short Story

They had been playing Xbox together, sat on long plump little bean bags, when the first wave had hit. This had been before the emergency broadcasts went on the news, when bright newscasters had cheerily announced that no, all the dead people were not a sign of the apocalypse, they just wanted to hang. Do not beat them back into the grave with a tenderising hammer, they warned. Please do not do that thing.

And the Dead Came Back to Life, Joel Golby

Also, check out John Scalzi’s blog for links to all the Hugo-nominated short stories.

Caption This Bruce Campbell Picture

THIS. IS MY _______STICK.

Ha! I got you. I totally had you going for a moment there. You thought we actually made money from CSICON? [Perish the thought! -Ed. Note]

As you’ll know if you’ve been on the internet today, it’s April Fool’s Day: the one day of the year when you shouldn’t believe anything you read on the internet. The other 364 days of the year, though, take everything you read on the Internet as gospel truth.

As always, Google are down for April Fool’s Day with a Morse code app for Gmail, a “click to teleport” button for ads, and an 8-bit Quest Mode for Google Maps. Quest Mode’s ending has already disappointed many players, and is expected to be fixed in future DLC.

Sh*t CSICON Says

“Do non-disclosure agreements mean nothing to people any more?”
— Jack Marshall

“OH GOD NO WHY”
— Mandi Odoerfer

“I’m not even sure why anybody would be interested in stuff like this anymore.”
— Breki Tomasson

“The audience probably does want to have sex with the Batman, but that’s strictly a subconscious thing.”
— Most Handsome Contributor James Drew

“(and there was much rejoicing)”
— Anna Nio

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• In this morning’s Observer, Marcus du Sautoy tracks the ever-shifting theoretical landscape of AI research.
• Ever wondered who this Casanova fella really was? You’re not alone. If you’re looking for pick-up tips, though, you’ll be disappointed.
• With the box-office-shattering release of The Hunger Games, Give Me Something to Read dredges up an article from 2010 in which Laura Miller wonders: what’s behind the sudden boom in dystopian fiction for the young adult market?

Short Story

By accepting these terms, you are agreeing to be bound by these terms, as well as by ropes; chains; handcuffs; duct tape; silky scarves; and any ancient traditions we choose to invoke.

Terms of Service, Graeme T. Beck, in McSweeneys.

Caption This Astronaut Picture

Say "specially-dehydrated and probably disgusting dairy product!"

Oh, right, this one's a brunette.

This week, a 61-metre-wide Hellmouth opened up in Sweden. Efforts to contact the Swedish Buffy were fruitless as Swedish Buffy exists only in my teenage daydreams.

Facebook responded to numerous reports of employers asking for interviewees’ Facebook login details as part of the background check. Personally, I’d be happy to hand them over; if my drunk status updates and photos of me licking the face of Where’s Wally on Hallowe’en are somehow relevant to the job, then I have found the career of my dreams.

The new Doctor Who companion is EastEnders star Jenna-Louise Coleman. Although Twitter commentors were horrified at this surprise casting of an attractive, white female co-star to replace the existing one, a look at Steven Moffat’s back catalogue assured fans they would barely notice the difference.

Sh*t CSICON Says

“If she had actually thrown the dinosaur, this would’ve been number one for sure.”
— Mandi Odo

“After years of literary college courses and more adult viewing habits (No, not porn… at least not just porn) I have a much more critical view of what I read and watch these days.”
— Chad DuBeau

“In my gaming career I have killed 128,765 bad guys, decapitated 654 men, rescued 76 princesses, and won 675 gold medals. I have never tried to guess what a bunch of black balls with yellow string sticking out of them were. I was now playing the most advance AI in the world; my mother. And she’s meant to be on my team.”
— Jack Marshall

“Did they take stupid pills or something?”
— Lewis Christison

“I’m not looking forward to it at all.”
— Breki Tomasson

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• Wired covers the bizarre story of how this response to r/askreddit became a bona-fide movie deal.
• Roman Krznaric tracks the periodic rise and fall of mass empathy in human history.
• And Mat Honan presents the case against Google for Gizmodo.

Short Story

I wait outside the speaking chamber, where the young Speakers learn to Hear and Speak. The walls and carpeted floor are purest white, the color of this God place and the Speakers who live here walk by, all dressed in white like the walls and the floor, their palms on the shoulders of their guides. They all look the same with their pale hair and pale eyes. Only their smell tells me who they are. I am a guide for my Speaker. Until she puts on the robe and is sent to another place to Speak between the worlds for the citizens. Then I will have a new pup to raise. I will miss this puppy. Her scent comes to me from beneath the door of the learning room, smelling of trying hard and not sure.

My She by Mary Rosenblum in Lightspeed.

CAPTION THIS CAT PICTURE

We don't have any prizes for you.

Image of the Week

Well, if you say so.

Apparently, HBO went “ah, screw it, everybody’s already seen the show” and went full spoiler for their Game of Thrones season 2 posters. Pretty spoilery, but still not as good as the Planet of the Apes DVDs.

Great spoiler, or GREATEST?

CSICON Round-Up

• Back at the start of the week, I talked to the co-founder of New York-based book rescuers Singularity & Co. At the time of writing this, they’re almost at $10,000 and there’s a couple of weeks left to give them some money.
• Anna gave us the ten commandments of an action flick, and I’m warning you now, it’s long. It’s also incredibly rich in detail. Any filmmakers in the readership might want to pay attention. Everyone else might just want to see some explosions. There might be some crossover between those groups.
• Reviews: Awake, Dirk Gently.
• You can read Mark Waid’s zombie apocalypse comic, Luther, for free online!
• On Friday, Mandi gave us a run-down of the best opening songs in the history of anime. The thing to remember about CSICON’s Friday Fives is that although they’re subjective opinions, they also line up with indisputable fact.
• Earlier in the week, Mandi also trawled the archives of Amazon for ten weird but totally real books, including The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories, an anthology of classic horse stories.

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• Chances are you’re in no state to read today, so how about a beautiful and incredibly intimate photo essay on the final days of NASA’s shuttle program?
• On McSweeney’s, Patrick McKay lists some Honest Spotify Playlists.
• Nature recounts one case of a patient with a split brain. What’s it like to live with the left and right halves of your brain disconnected from one another? I’m trying to keep it light on the mad science stuff lately, but Vicki’s story is fascinating.
• Or how about we dispense with words altogether and watch a short, silent post-apocalyptic animated movie?
• RUIN from OddBall Animation on Vimeo.

Thought for the Week

Guhh.

Next week. Next week I’ll open with a joke. If it’s appropriate.

Image of the Week

Hulkling and Wiccan

Call me an old softie, but the sight of Hulkling and Wiccan having a snog — their first ‘on-screen’ kiss since their introduction back in 2005 — made me want to actually read Avengers: The Children’s Crusade.

CSICON Weekly Round-Up

• Probably the most productive contributor this week, Jack Marshall outlined how his sister beat him at his own nerdy-ass game and tried out this whole “comic books” thing for the first time. Let’s tell him to read Tarot, it’ll be hilarious.
• Jack also reviewed the first episode of Awake, and he’s completely wrong about it, but I’ve been told that he’s entitled to his opinion.
• Mandi put together one of my favorite Friday Fives so far — Weird Superpowers.
• Chad did a whole thing about Saturday morning cartoons as a genre.
• This just went up this morning (GMT), so it feels like cheating, but Eric’s hella-review of John Carter is about as epic as the film itself.

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• Over at the Huffington Post, readers decide: is Twitter bad for comedy? What? It’s relevant; we’re a geek site, there are a lot of different kinds of geeks. Some of us are comedy geeks. No names mentioned lest those people get the sack.
• What does it feel like to get zapped in the brain in the name of cognitive enhancement? Sally Adee finds out so the rest of us don’t have to.
• Want to know how to forge a painting or why some readers would want to? This article in Speigel probably shouldn’t be read as a how-to, because CSICON doesn’t condone that sort of thing.
• Finally, a short sci-fi story for your reading pleasure: The Day They Came by Kali Wallace, in Lightspeed Magazine.

Thought for the Week

This time last week, most of us weren’t even aware that if it weren’t for the intervention of three white film students, the entire African continent would be well and truly humped. But now, your Facebook news feed reads like the third act of a Schwarzenegger film. We’re organised, we know what we’re up against, and it’s fucking personal.

Godspeed, insufferable hipsters. Godspeed.

I mean, I could open up the image editor and chop it down to a 750×200 bastardisation, but would you want to? Click on that top image for the full view of the Skywalker/Vader showdown from The Empire Strikes Back. Spend a little time on Google Images. It’ll be worth it.

Image of the Week

It was a week of good images (I found this one inordinately funny), but our winner is a visual pitch for Back to the Future IV, co-starring Will Smith.

This is heavy.

Found on reddit, from an original photo-manipulation found in this gallery.

CSICON Weekly Round-Up

Before we start, you might want to bake up some treats. Here’s a link for some inspiration, and I’ll see you back here in about fourteen hours when they’re done.

• For a few days there’s been a couple of new faces here in the CSICON helicarrier. Turns out they’re the How to Murder Time guys, and they’ve joined up with CSICON as part of the plan for world domination. I mean decimation. No, wait, the first thing. Ignore the second one.
• Jack recounted how Capcom’s beat-em-up reality show got ugly, like, really ugly. Way to represent the geek crowd, guys.
• The first clip from The Hunger Games was released this week, causing great discomfort to pigs, apples, hedonistic gamesmasters and those among us who suddenly remembered Jennifer Lawrence is playing a sixteen-year-old.
• Reviews happened, as well: Black Mirror (awesome), DC Nation (varied), and Touch (about as good as a nice, cold bottle of Fanta; take from that what you will).
• Just what the hell is that giant flying snake in the Avengers (Assemble) trailer? Gail Simone suggested it was Galactus’s boner, but Breki had a more… plausible suggestion.
• And for our regulars, this week’s Tuesday Trope was on alternate universes and somehow I didn’t mention Fringe, while Anna took a look at the best body-swapping plots for Friday Five without foaming at the mouth or having a rage blackout at the mention of Lindsey Lohan. This week has been a restrained one for the CSICON lot.

Sunday Afternoon Reading

• Could brain-training games be used to treat schizophrenia? Erika Check Hayden weighs up the evidence for Nature.
• Do our relationships with our smartphones change what it means to be human? An interesting essay on artificial intelligence, IRL connectivity and the seeds of transhumanism in the First World.
• Finally, Discover Magazine offers tips on how to survive the end of the universe, assuming you’ve survived the trillions of years between now and then. One problem not addressed: where to put your record-breaking collection of letters from the Queen?

Thought For The Week

This week, one of the candidates for the next President of the Most Powerful Country on the Planet spent three days calling his constituents “sluts” and asking if he can watch them have sex. Rush Limbaugh claims he was trying to be ‘humorous’ with his terrible comments. With support for the Democrats in the minority, I give it less than two years before we’re all living in a dystopian future. Not even the fun Mad Max kind of dystopia. I’m talking The Handmaid’s Tale.

It’s one of those rare instances where the UK gets to be the obnoxious hipster nation of the UN, because here, we’ve been on the slope towards a dystopian society for a few years. It’s a restrained, stiff-upper-lip kind of oppression as opposed to the yee-haw brand-name insanity you get in the States, certainly, but an awfulness nonetheless.

We’ve had the boot stomping on our collective face since before it was cool.

10:03am, everybody. Cross your fingers for me. Baby needs an iPad, y’know?

Image of the Week:

Does this count as Expanded Universe?

This charming Up x Star Wars mash-up by James Hance.

CSICON Weekly Round-up

• A whole two-point-five minutes of Pixar’s upcoming Brave got released earlier this week. It’s two minutes thirty seconds of archery badassitude, which means only one thing: this Christmas season’s hot toy is going to be a bow-and-arrow set. Parents, expect to spend some time in the Accident & Emergency wing.
• For our Friday Five, Mandi took a look at five underappreciated webcomics, so go follow some links and show some love.
• Our Tuesday Trope this week took on “genius” in fiction, and the real-life nature of intelligence. Are book-smarts a natural inclination or the result of hard work? Does a smart person have a responsibility to use their abilities for good? How best to improve the world through education? Ha ha, no, I’m just kidding. There’s a professor called Terry Dactyl. Relax.
• We wished a happy-would’ve-been-birthday to Star Trek‘s first lady Majel Barrett.
• And yesterday, Breki and Jack did a live Geek Positive, in which they talked about the recently-leaked set pictures from Star Trek 2. Featuring Bertrandforth Cummerbunch! I mean Barbados Cabaretgirl! Never not funny: misremembering the name of the guy from Sherlock who isn’t Morgan Freeman.

Sunday Afternoon Reading

We grew up with the Internet and on the Internet. This is what makes us different; this is what makes the crucial, although surprising from your point of view, difference: we do not ‘surf’ and the internet to us is not a ‘place’ or ‘virtual space’. The Internet to us is not something external to reality but a part of it: an invisible yet constantly present layer intertwined with the physical environment. We do not use the Internet, we live on the Internet and along it.

This article-slash-manifesto We, the Web Kids popped up on Pastebin, which neatly summarises how the experience of the web has shaped the expectations of the young people who grew up with it.

Roger Kimball asks: will the Great American Novel ever be written? Can it ever be written, now that our relationship with literature has been changed by the advent of television, the rise of the internet and other related factors? Yes, it kind of reads like the rantings of a man who’s forgotten that great literature has been and continues to be produced outside of the United States, but it’s worth a read anyway.

“Neuroscientists are novices at deception. Magicians have done controlled testing in human perception for thousands of years.” — Teller (of “Penn &” fame) reveals how magicians fool the human brain.

I know it’s not technically “reading” but here’s GAMMA, a post-apocalyptic short film by Factory Fifteen, famed for the gorgeous The Robots of Brixton.

While we’re at this not-quite-reading lark, go and check out The Scale of the Universe. It’s not like you’re doing anything else this afternoon. Might as well spend it curled up in an existential hole.

And finally, Singularity & Co. are a startup in New York who are buying up the copyrights for old and out-of-print classic SF novels so they can release them in a digital format. The official Kickstarter appears in the next week, and we’ll let you know when that happens, but for now, they accept donations.

Thought for the week:

For those among us who celebrate it, the forty days of Lent kicked off this week. Though historically Lent has been a time for fasting or abstinence – all that penitence business – a lot of people here in the 21st Century are doing the self-improvement bit and giving up Facebook, Twitter, etc. Instead of sacrificing something inconsequential like crisps or Foursquare or writing glib round-up posts for nerdy websites, why not consider sacrificing your time and taking on some volunteer work over the next forty days?

Anyway, please don’t be offended if CSICON still hasn’t responded to the love letter you sent; there are a lot of them we still have to get through.

CSICON Round-up!

Hands down the greatest piece of romantic fan art on the internet.

• Lewis compiled an entry full of the most heart-warming/heart-rending (depends on your stance, really) pieces of fan art for Valentine’s Day.
• Less romantically, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has a trailer. In case you haven’t seen the trailer, this film is exactly what it sounds like.
• We took you on a journey through the maddest, baddest videogame marketing of recent years.
• Jack Marshall took a sneaky peep at the geek-infused versions of Monopoly that are coming out for some reason. My advice for any game of Monopoly is to keep your cool. Try not to throttle one another. That’s what they want. Don’t throttle anyone unless you really have to, or if your friend has Angel Islington and you need it to complete the set but they won’t swap you for anything you have. No, I’m still not over it. I will have my revenge. You know who you are.
• In the three-episodes-in-but-still-kind-of-new Geek Positive podcast, Jack and Breki talked about the NYC-set Sherlock remake, among other things, and the likelihood that it will undo the very fabric of our universe (they didn’t talk about that explicitly, but it was implied).
• Forget all about your disastrous Valentine’s Day date with our Tuesday Tropes & Friday Five features on amnesia. If it wasn’t disastrous, well good for you, Casanova.

Sunday Afternoon Reading:

Just lie back and think of Pangea.

• Here’s an article on — I kid you not — the anatomy of dinosaur sex. There are some phrases you only get to say a handful of times, and that’s only if you choose a certain career. Today, I’m happy with the choices I’ve made. (Incidentally: never, ever run a Google Image Search for “dinosaur sex.” Unless you’ve already seen the thing with the pterodactyls, in which case: I know, right?)
• Jacob Silverman in Tablet argues that author Michael Chabon, who wrote the screenplay for John Carter of Mars (hang on, what?), might not be back in the swing of great literature, and that greatly pissed off Chabon’s wife Ayelet Waldman, who is awesome.
• Incidentally, I would like to be able to access that short story mentioned in the Tablet article, so if anyone can get me in, I can pay, actually I can’t pay, ha ha, running jokes.
• Wired delves into the neuroscience behind an Eternal Sunshine pill that erases certain periods of memory, and explores how it might be used in the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
• The Nation gives us a history of military drones in the field, but doesn’t give information on how to shut them down when the machines take over. Telling.
• The Millions runs an essay on Martin Amis’s lost guide to classic video games, Invasion of the Space Invaders: an Addict’s Guide to Battle Tactics, Big Scores and the Best Machines. If the review doesn’t satisfy, you can buy a copy of your own if you can fish $150 from the back of the sofa.
• For the comics crowd, you can read Becky Cloonan’s short story in Heartbreak: Just Friends as a preview for that anthology.

Your Thought For The Week Ahead:

It’s been bugging me ever since I signed up for CSICON duty: how the hell do you pronounce “CSICON”? I’ve been calling it “sy-con” when people ask who I write for but it might be “see-ess-eye con” or something even stranger.

Actually; when people ask who I write for I say “y’know, nerd websites.” This is redundant; all websites are nerd websites.

That winner is Paddy “Drunken Gamer” Fellows of the Drunken Gamer podcast! He’s been contacted and congratulated and a DVD or Blu-Ray version of X-Men: First Class, Thor or Captain America: The First Avenger will be shipped off to him as soon as he makes up his mind about which one it is he wants!

More information about our February competition coming soon!

Addendum: He’s getting X-Men: First Class on Blu-Ray! Good choice!